Boredom and Nail Polish
by Becs
Summary: What happens when Pietro gets bored. God help us all!!!!!!!


"Pietro _what_ are you doing?" Lance asked as he walked into the living room.

"What does it look like?" Pietro shrugged, looking up from his newly painted black index finger, "I'm painting my nails."

"And you find nothing wrong with this scenario," Lance raised an eyebrow. 

Pietro carefully edged around the corner of his thumbnail with black before answering, "well, I kinda got a little bored and I thought, what would I do in this situation. Well, burning down the X-mansion was too much work, stealing all of Mystique's underwear and dumping it all in Summer's car seemed like a good idea until I remembered what she did to me last time I pulled that stunt, so I raided her bedside table and found this. I dunno, seemed like an okay idea at the time. Plus I'm not bored anymore!" He dipped the brush and ran it over his little finger. "Wanna manicure? I'm pretty good for a first timer. I'm almost finished my hands and then I'll be bored again."

"No!" Lance replied, "if you want to do more fingernail painting, paint your toes!"

"Done it," Pietro said, kicking off his slippers and displaying perfectly done nails, completely black. "You're sure you don't want a manicure? I can paint them red and black to match your outfit. If I can find some red that is."

"No! NoNoNoNoNoNoNo! What happened? You hang out in the girls locker room too long?" 

Pietro snorted, "I wish! No I just happen to be fucking fab in all areas." He blew on his nails and stretched them out at arms length to study them. He then proceeded to shake his hand at super-speed, drying the black nail polish in 30 seconds flat.

"Hey that looks pretty cool," Todd exclaimed.

"Jesus Christ!" Pietro yelled, a hand to his chest, "don't do that! You damn near gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry," Todd smiled sheepishly.

"S'okay," Pietro said, "this time." There was a pause as Pietro screwed the lid back on the nail polish. "You want one?"

"One what?" Todd frowned.

"A manicure. The full deal, cut, filed, buffed and painted."

"You'll make me pay won't you," Todd asked.

"Nope."

"What's in it for you then," Todd ventured, "I've never known you to do anything nice for me when there wasn't some personal gain in your favour."

"I do nice things! But no, you'll just be saving me from the wrath of Mystique after I get so bored I put 7 kinds of dirt in her shampoo."

"Yeah okay, why not," Todd shrugged and sat down.

"What colour? Green would be best I think. It goes with your costume and your normal clothes."

"Does anyone else find this whole scene just wrong?" Lance asked, "we're supposed to be the Brotherhood, not Bayville's new nail salon."

"Lance pass me the file would you?" Pietro interrupted.

"Get it yourself," Lance snapped, "I'm going to watch tv."

"Rrrrrreow! Catty!" Pietro grinned, snatching up the file and beginning to smooth out Todd's bitten nails.

"Shut up!" Lance growled good-naturedly, throwing a pillow in Pietro's direction. Pietro 

shot one hand up at super-speed and grabbed it, his other hand still going at super-speed as he finished off Todd's nails.

"Oh smooth!" Todd exclaimed, eyes widening.

"See what happens when you look after your nails," Pietro said, admiring his own handy-work, "they actually look good don't they Lance?"

"I'm not part of this!"

"Oh come on! I know you just wish you could get in touch with your feminine side. Chicks dig that stuff you know."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Party pooper. You just don't like the fact that we're having fun and you're not."

"Uh-huh," Lance answered.

"Wow look at that shine!" Todd exclaimed, eyeing his newly buffed nails, done in 40 seconds flat.

"And now Mr Tolansky, if you would be so kind as to give me your hand - thank you."

"That's the colour?" Todd asked a little sceptically.

"Yep. Just trust me. It'll look great!"

"Last time he said that I had red hair for a month. I still get called carrot-top," Lance chimed in.

"Lance you said and I quote, 'I am not part of this.' Please make up your mind," Pietro sighed.

"Just giving a warning." 

"Well it's not wanted. Now kindly return to watching your mind-rotting trash."

Lance returned to the tv with a shrug. Pietro opened the nail polish and spread the first coat on Todd's nails.

" When this dries, apparently it smells like lime," Todd informed Pietro, reading the bottle's description.

"An added bonus then," Pietro replied, concentrating on keeping the nail polish on Todd's nail. He was doing it at normal speed instead of super-speed, probably because it would take longer, saving him from the mind-numbing boredom that threatened. "Don't sniff it," Pietro said, calmly taking the bottle off Todd as he bent to do just that, "it kills brain cells and you have so little anyway."

"A beautician who cares about brain cells," Lance commented, "now I've seen everything!"

"Quiet Lance. Or I'll really give people a reason to call you carrot-top."

"Yeah, or flame-brain," Todd sniggered at his own joke.

"Ouch Toad, that really hurt," Lance said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"No insulting the client," Pietro interrupted, "that's my job."

"Fine, I'll just watch this riveting info-mercial. Oh just what I always wanted! A face cream that tones _and_ cleanses."

"There," Pietro said, "all done. Now, if you'll allow me....."

"Owwww! Stop it! That really hurts!"

"Oh stop being a baby."

"Ouch! I mean it Pietro! Stop!"

"It won't take that much longer. Come on just a few more minutes."

"No! Aaaaaach. OwwOwwOwwOwwOww!" Todd shook his hand and glared ruefully at Pietro.

"What a whuss. It doesn't hurt when _I_ do it."

"That's because you're built for speed yo!' Todd cried in exasperation, "I'm built for hop'n."

"Well it's dry now anyway," Pietro took Todd's hand in his and sniffed the dried nail polish. "Mmmmmmm, it does smell like lime."

"Full of fruity goodness," Lance muttered.

"I'm hungry," Pietro said, speeding off into the kitchen. He arrived back in the space of a few seconds carrying a huge bar of chocolate.

"I thought you didn't eat that stuff," Todd frowned as Pietro took a huge bite.

"Cravings are too much, plus coach says I'm fine, that the rest of the team should take me as an excellent example. I have a high metabolism anywayz so I don't have to diet like the rest of those losers. You should have seen Evan's face! 'Specially when coach told him to lay off the Big Macs!"

"We could've told you that you had a high metabolism," Lance muttered.

"Yeah but he wouldn't have listened," Todd replied.

"Is this all that's on tv?" Pietro interrupted.

"No. I think there's some cartoon on the other channel."

"Cool," Pietro switched channels, to where a cartoon blonde girl wearing a pink mini-skirt stood gazing into the eyes of a dark haired teen.

"Cool! Batman Beyond!" Todd exclaimed, making himself comfortable.

"Who's the chick?" Pietro asked, "she's hot."

"Melanie or something," Todd answered, "she's the bad girl. Runs with high-tech robbers."

"A bad ass huh?" Pietro grinned, "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

"And that I take it, is the hero," Lance said pointing at the black haired guy.

"Yep," Todd nodded, "he's the next bat generation."

"No Melanie don't!" Pietro cried as the 2 characters kissed, "he doesn't deserve you! He can never make you happy!"

"Plus, he's two-timing," Todd added.

"That bastard!" Pietro said in mock horror.

"I thought heroes didn't do that kinda thing," Lance said, snatching a square of Pietro's chocolate and ignoring the glare Pietro gave him.

"Maybe he's gonna go evil," Pietro said.

"Can you guys shut up?" Todd snapped, "I'm trying to watch this."

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Lance and Pietro mocked, "testy!"

"Shut up!" Todd yelled.

THWACK!

A pillow hit Lance full in the face.

"What did you do that for?" Lance said, looking at Pietro in shock.

"Well, I was going to throw it at Todd but he just looked so pathetic," Pietro explained.

"Oh yeah! I'll show you pathetic! Take this!" Todd yelled.

BOOMF!

"Owww! You're gonna regret that bog-breath!"

SMACK!

"LaaaaaAAAaaance!" Pietro whined, rubbing the back of his head, "it's not kind to hit people when they're attacking others!"

"Whoops. My bad," Lance smirked.

"Awwww. Does Pietro have a boo-boo?" Todd snickered. 

"Feel the wrath of the Pillow King!" Pietro whooped, barraging the two mutants with blow after blow at super-speed. "Take that! AndThatAndThatAndThat!"

"Ambush!" Lance shouted, "retreat! Retreat!"

"WILL YOU 3 SHUT YOUR TRAPS!"

They all turned to see a very angry Mystique. "I've had a very lousy day," Mystique growled, "I'm going to bed to watch some movies. If any of you lot make one peep of noise, I'll beat you within an inch of your life!"

"Yes ma'am!" Pietro shouted at the top of his lungs. Eyes wide in rage, Mystique raised a hand. "I mean, yes ma'am," Pietro whispered.

"Not a sound," Lance added.

"Scouts honour," Todd nodded. Mystique gave them all a last warning glare and stalked back to her room. The boys sat still for a few moments, trying their best to keep quiet.

"Lance?" Pietro hissed.

"What?"

"I'm bored."

"Oh Christ," Lance growled under his breath, "can't you sit still for 3 minutes?"

"No."

"I've got an idea. Let's go and annoy fuzz-face!" Todd grinned evilly, then muttered to himself, "yeah, annoy the fuzzy elf out of his mind. Then he'll have to go to a psychiatrist. Heh heh heh." He rubbed his hands together in glee. Lance glanced at Pietro. Depending on the what kind of mood the speedster was in, this idea would either be discarded with a comment of disgust or leapt upon with all of his hyperactive hunger. Unfortunately, today it was the latter.

"No Pietro don't," Lance began, as the cerulean-eyed mutant turned mischief-filled eyes towards him.

"Too late!" Pietro grinned, grabbing an enthusiastic Todd by the waist and speeding out the door, leaving a wind blown living room in his wake.

"I am _so_ dead," Lance grumbled, following the 2 trouble-makers path. "Pietro! Todd! Come back! Mystique's gonna kill me! Pietro! You 2 are _so _getting your ass's kicked." Lance muttered as he jumped into his jeep to follow them. 


End file.
